My life’s markers may differ from those of my peers, but a year of freedom and fun has taught me to appreciate myself

From the ages of 18 to 21, I spent quite a lot of time crying in my local nightclub in the small town of Listowel in Ireland. My reason for weeping was that all my friends were pulling and I wasn’t. If I could go back in time, I’d give myself a stern talking to, hand myself a shot and say: “Of course no one’s trying it on – you’re wailing Céline Dion in the corner.”

Back then I was terrified of becoming the last single friend in the girl gang. I was petrified of being left behind, abandoned for a man who wore bootcut jeans with brown dress shoes. Every time a friend announced, “I have a date,” my body would seize up. Then I found myself in a relationship. While my friends were out on the town, living the free and single life, I was staying in, curled up under a duvet with my partner, eating takeaway and feeling smug because I didn’t need to be on a dating app.

Édaein O’ Connell is a freelance journalist